Is ‘Battlestar Galactica’ jumping the shark?

I don’t watch enough television to be able to say authoritatively that Battlestar Galactica is the best show running. But screw Two and a Half Men, I’m going to say it anyway: Battlestar Galactica is the best show running.

Not because of its clever, oblique political commentary, though that is impressive. Not merely because there are excellent performances from an evenly matched ensemble cast. And not because there are graphic scenes of robots having sex.

It’s the writing. BSG is a perfect television epic, with a strong characters and a smart, emotionally compelling narrative. This is the story of a world at war, a story of father and son, tangled romances, false prophets, desperate power plays. It’s Homeric. That the show is based in a distant, futuristic sci-fi-verse with FTL spaceships and a complex political backdrop — that mankind is being hunted down by the fruits of its own Promethean advancement, and that, in classic Philip K. Dick fashion, its man-machine servants have evolved to the point where their sophistication challenges the very idea of humanity — is only incidental. The genius of Ronald D. Moore and his crew is that they have used their brilliant premise in service of great human story, and, gods bless them, have resisted the classic trap of being seduced by their own creation.

At least until recently. A few developments worry me. One is that the story is becoming way too concerned with the mystical elements of the human and Cylon religions. These have gone beyond their proper place as details to flesh out character and setting, and have hijacked the plot. I don’t know if I can take another tearful explosion by Kara Thrace about her prophetic visions, or another smarmy speech by Baltar or Leoben about destiny and how we are one and God is one and the one is one and God is God is one is God is us and yadda yadda.

All of this is framed by the quest for Earth, which in itself is OK; that focuses the drama and provides a tantalizing endpoint, given the potential for a Planet of the Apes-style twist ending. But the motivation for this quest has gotten sidelined by religious gobbledygook. Let’s get something straight here: the humans of BSG are going to Earth to find a place to fucking live, not to fulfill prophecies. More important, we are going to Earth with them — and care about getting there — because it resolves the dramatic crisis. I don’t give a shit about whether there’s one true god for all the Capricans and Sagittarons and Cylons. (Nor do I care about learning Klingon or how the Enterprise refuels, for that matter.) The sad result of this is that I don’t care very much about Earth, either.

This has been bubbling through the story for a while now, but for me it was crystallized in the most recently broadcast episode, “Faith.” The offending scene: Laura Roslin’s vision of the afterlife. She is on a boat on a river with whoever that other Galactica cancer patient is, and on the banks they see their smiling, welcoming dead relatives. The other woman rushes blissfully into their arms. Roslin looks at her mother but can’t go to her: “I’m not ready.”

For the most part BSG’s scenes of high drama can be compared with those in Twin Peaks or The Sopranos or I, Claudius or any of the other immortal television series. But not this. This is at the level of a Hallmark-sponsored abused-wife movie on Lifetime. Shame on you, Ronald D. Moore.

In the same vein: the Hybrid. She/It has been eating up enormous amounts of screen time with prophecy babble; she’s a device to build up a sense of portentous mystery. But it’s a big miscalculation by the writers to think that they can hold our interest with this contrivance. It’s supposed to mean a great deal to us that the Hybrid suddenly says something that makes sense. But which is more compelling: a race of survival through uncharted territory, with the captain and crew losing faith in themselves and the dying leader starting to make misguided power grabs; or a character who talks a lot of Jabberwocky and then says something that the writer triple-underlines as MEANINGFUL?

Over-reliance on the supernatural usually indicates a poorly thought-out story. Is that happening here? I hope not. Because that would really fracking suck.

Anono-Crüefest goes on

I’m quite enjoying my dialogue with anonymous, homophobic, ungrammatical Mötley Crüe fans, and I invite you, dear reader, to contribute.

Mariah Carey MySpace comment of the day: ‘Not tryna b noisey’

Dear Queenie Nini, Thanks for your message. Fo’ real, girl! But how’s marriage going to run my voice? Harmonizin’ and monetizin’, Mariah

Press release of the day: 500,000 Romans tortured in gruesome public ceremony

GENESIS RELEASE WHEN IN ROME 2007 THE DVD
DIRECTED BY DAVID MALLET, EXCLUSIVELY AT WAL-MART IN JUNE

When In Rome 2007 Is a Triple DVD Featuring Over 5 Hours of Material, Shot During the Band’s Hugely Successful First Tour in 15 Years Turn It On Again. The European Tour Ended With a Show at Rome’s Circo Massimo in Front of 500,000 Fans, and Is Captured Here in Its Full Glory. The Package Also Includes a Spectacular Fly-on-the-Wall Documentary.

Available June 10 Exclusively At Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Walmart.com, Samsclub.com and genesis-music.com

LOS ANGELES — Genesis — Tony Banks, Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford — returned after 15 years with one of 2007’s most successful tours. After a series of brilliant stadium performances across Europe, the tour ended with a spellbinding grand finale in Rome as the band performed in front of 500,000 fans who filled the historic Circo Massimo for this free, open-air concert. Legendary director David Mallet captured the entire 2 hour and 36 minute spectacle with multiple cameras for WHEN IN ROME 2007...

Even better!

Come on, Mötley Crüe fans, at least show me the respect of using “I.P. Freely.”

My very first ‘your an idiot’

My first ungrammatical, cowardly flame! Thank you, anonymous 8:30, you have made my day. Your such a sweetheart!

Press release of the day: Band ‘inspired’ to delay CD release

It’s a pretty typical situation: an older band, particularly one reunited after some rancor, wants to launch a big, moneymaking album and tour. But the hits don’t come like they used to. And maybe a major, much-rumored business deal didn’t come through. So the album gets delayed a little bit. How to spin it?

Mötley Crüe’s answer: Say that the band’s own press conference “inspired” them them to go back into the studio and come up with something for radio! I certainly feel more inspired to spend a hundred bucks to see Vince Neil and Papa Roach, don’t you?

CRÜE FEST ANNOUNCEMENT INSPIRES BAND TO RECORD NEW SONG AND MOVE ANTICIPATED CD “SAINTS OF LOS ANGELES” TO JUNE 24TH

CRÜE FEST, THE SUMMER’S LOUDEST SHOW ON EARTH, KICKS OFF JULY 1ST

Los Angeles, CA (May 12, 2008) — Inspired by the energy and experience of their performance with their Crüe Fest cohorts Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Sixx:A.M. and Trapt at the press conference to announce the upcoming mega-tour, Mötley Crüe extended the production for their upcoming CD, returning to the studio this week to record one more track for the highly-anticipated album Saints of Los Angeles. The first new studio album recorded with all of the original band members in over a decade, Saints of Los Angeles will now be released on June 24th. Lyrically, the new album follows the story of the band’s NY Times best-selling memoir The Dirt, a no-holds-barred tell-all that features every gritty detail of the group’s exploits as one of the world’s biggest rock bands...

Says Sixx, “Before our performance at the press conference, we were firing on all cylinders at sound check just jamming out, and that’s when the new idea came. We quickly laid it down and went to the studio to record it, and liked it so much we pushed back the release one week so that we could get it onto the album — it now has 13 tracks. It’s the ultimate song to end the record with and begin the new chapter of our career.”

A better record map

Following my earlier posts and the map that ran in the Times, here’s my first foray into customized Google Maps: a fuller plotting of Manhattan’s record stores, past and present.

Blue markers represent stores that are open; red means closed; yellow is status unknown (mostly because I haven’t gotten around to making the latest batch of phone calls); purple means it’s a non-record store that has a significant music section. Like the list I have been updating — with extra details including the date each red one closed — I want to make this as complete and accurate as possible, so additions, corrections and news are all welcome.

View Larger Map

Last updated: September 2009

One Missed Folksy 1920s Calendar

MAY 1920 “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” — Theodore Roosevelt ❧ JUNE 1920 “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” — Mark Twain ❧ JULY 1920 “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” — Henry Ford ❧ AUGUST 1920 “You are going to suffer a painful demise after being disfigured in a way that perverts some symbol of innocence and normality, such as having your face twisted inward like a badly made doll.” — Mysterious Harbinger of Gruesome Death

All Men Are Liars

CHUD II

Three degrees from Mariah

So by my calculations this puts me at three degrees of separation from Mariah Carey.

Photographic evidence: Me → (with) Sam “Rudy” Retzer-Petitioner → (with) 27-year-old “little-screen actor” Nick Cannon → (with) 38-year-old Little Miss No. 1 herself.

And I’m two from Sonny Spoon, a.k.a. Mario Van Peebles, but I’m not at liberty to disclose the details of that connection.