Thursday, December 18, 2008

Press release of the day: Manowar approve French balls


As you know, “other bands play, Manowar kill[s].” But what you may not know is that your favorite Buffalo-area codpiece-metal band also excels at the art of press releases and fan-club announcements. Which makes sense, really, for four guys who once signed a record contract in their own blood.

So I was delighted but not in the least bit surprised by the bellicose, homoerotic flair of today’s statement from the Kingdom of Steel. Other bands — the kind without loincloths, for example — might simply say that they were playing the Hellfest festival in France next June, and add that tickets were going on sale, here’s the website, yadda yadda. But Manowar kills.

A French hero has risen! MANOWAR has found a promoter with the balls to bring us to the country of France! On June 21, 2009 MANOWAR will headline the Hellfest 2009 set to take place in Clisson along with special guests HolyHell. Tickets are for sale online at For more information and directions please visit

We call all French warriors to battle! The Kings Of Metal will crack the earth in Clisson!

More tour dates for 2009 will be announced shortly, including the third edition of the Magic Circle Festival. Stay tuned!

Seriously, when was the last time you heard a band say something like “We will crack the earth at the Qualcomm Center”? Unless you’re on the Manowar mailing list, my friend, you haven’t heard that in a number of years.