To be a reptilicus, and to chomp a babe

Monster-about-to-chomp-babe poster of the day: ‘Malibu Shark Attack’ (2009)

To be a bat, and to chomp a babe

To be a deadly spawn, and to chomp a babe

To be a piranha in 3-D, and to chomp a babe

To be almost human in Dunwich, and to chomp a half-witted girl

To be a triffid, and to chomp a babe

To be a colossus of New York, and to shoot eye beams through a babe

To be a leprechaun, and to chomp Jennifer Aniston

To be a cosmic monster, and to chomp a babe

To be a crab monster, and to chomp a babe

To be a tarantula, and to chomp a babe

From 1955, which is way pre-.

Wild Thing about to chomp babe

A heroic reader, Marco Kaye, sent in this masterpiece of chompjamming as a contribution to the ongoing if occasional reunion tour of my monster-about-to-chop-babe poster series. The image comes from a contest on this site, which has a whole bunch of goofy Wild Things posts.

Thanks, Marco!

Some pre-‘Jaws’ monster-about-to-chomp-babe favorites, part 2

Some pre-‘Jaws’ monster-about-to-chomp-babe favorites, part 1

Make sure you check that last title.

Monsters chomping: A reader answers the call

OK, after nearly 100 posts of monsters chomping babes, run almost daily here since April — I took a hiatus in July — I pretty much ran out. But I’m glad that I made it to the end of the summer season. (I do have a few more goodies to come, however: watch this space.)

A couple of weeks ago I reached out to you, Kind Readers, for some help digging up more posters. I have gotten some excellent contributions in the past, but this time there was only one taker. His name is Bob, and his submission is a work of art truly worthy of The Cult of Ray:

Thanks, Bob.

Monster-about-to-chomp-babe poster of the day, pre-‘Jaws’ special: ‘The Green Slime’ (1968)

There’s also a nice Italian variant:

As with many European releases of American films of the time, a new painting was made of a similar if not totally identical image. (Anyone know the reason for this? Couldn’t have been cheaper to produce. And did the studios really not care how the films were being marketed abroad?)

Interesting what changes were made in the copy. The basic theme: sex it up and don’t sweat the small stuff. The astronaut lady, who in both posters is the only skywalker to have a full fishbowl helmet, goes from brunette to a more exotic redhead in the Italian version, and her neckline goes way, way down.

Apparently neither artist expected audiences to have a problem with the idea of exposed flesh in space: the worker-bee male astronauts are completely covered, as you might expect, but the lady’s hands and décolletage are unprotected. I haven’t seen the movie, but I’m assuming she’s as human as the boys are, no?

Then there’s the monster. Slime, sorry. In the original it is wonderfully glutinous; you can even see it dripping its goo all over the spaceship, horrifying the people on board. The creature is also covered with small eyes, which peek out from its folds of green slimeflesh, and its huge yellow cyclops-eye is bloodshot.

The knockoff eliminates the goo, the bloodshot and the little eyes, as well as the passengers on the ship. (Though the artist was careful to keep the name of the ship, Gamma 3.) There’s also only one monster, whereas in the original he had serious backup.

So it skimps on details, but I have to admit there’s still something I really like about it. I think it’s the composition, and in particular the figure of the woman. In both pictures she seems to be dancing, and doing it so gracefully that it reminds me of my favorite Botticelli. With boobs. In space. And a gooey, one-eyed green monster. About to chomp her. In space.

What’s not to like?

Monster-about-to-chomp-babe poster of the day: ‘Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell’ (1975)

A.K.A. Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake.

Monster-about-to-chomp-babe poster of the day: ‘Croc’ (2007)

Monster-about-to-chomp-babe poster of the day: ‘Day of the Animals’ (1977)