Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Press release of the day: John Lennon = Faust, Robert Johnson, ‘others’

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I’m not enough of a Beatles freak to know or care if there’s much of a “turn me on, dead man”-type precedent for this, but thank God somebody has decided to be the Ralph Macchio here and tackle head-on the urgent question of whether John Lennon sold his soul to the devil “in exchange for his worldly musical success with the Beatles and beyond.” And beyond!

The basis for this conclusion? On Dec. 27, 1960, “when Beatlemania first struck audiences,” the Beatles played a concert that “evoked a response noticeably different from anything in their past,” and thus they “inexplicably and immediately” became superfamous. So John must have struck a deal with Old Scratch. QED, right?

WASHINGTON, D.C., November 18, 2008 - Did John Lennon sell his soul to the devil in exchange for his worldly musical success with The Beatles and beyond? That’s the theory set forth by Joseph Niezgoda in his soon-to-be released book The Lennon Prophecy, A New Examination of the Death Clues of the Beatles.

The Lennon Prophecy offers a new interpretation of the hidden messages and symbols that have ornamented Beatles mythology for years and offers the view that Lennon joined historical figures such as Mississippi “Crossroads” blues guitarist Robert Johnson, Dr. Johann Faust, Pope Sylvester II among others who entered into a pact with the devil to exchange their souls for earthly successes....

Niezgoda alleges that a 20-year pact began in December of 1960, shortly before a night when Beatlemania first struck audiences on December 27, 1960, when the Fab Four played at Town Hall Ballroom in Litherland, England. During that performance, as Niezgoda writes, “The Beatles evoked a response noticeably different from anything in their past.” From there, The Beatles inexplicably and immediately shot to global fame at a level never seen before or since. The 20-year pact came to its tragic conclusion on December 8, 1980, when Mark David Chapman, who testified he was possessed by demons, fulfilled the end of the contract by murdering Lennon outside of his apartment at The Dakota in New York City.

I appreciate the reference to Sylvester II. You can’t count on good medieval papal scholarship anymore.

5 comments:

rudylandsam said...

did Ben Sisario sell his soul to the devil the night before the Vitamen outshined the The Make*Up?

Rob said...

Oh Lord...

Jesse said...

So were the details of this deal something like "I, the undersigned [John Lennon] agree to sell my soul to the devil in return for worldwide success as a singer and musician in the largest and most popular band of all time for the next seven years, and then spend the remaining years of my life making half-assed albums and taping sanitary napkins to my head." ? Or maybe it was "I, John Lennon, agree to sell my soul to the devil solely on the condition that a so-so solo song of mine about my son will be used in a sentimental movie starring Richard Dreyfuss called "Mr. Holland's Opus"? Or maybe it was "Me John Lennon want #5 on Rolling Stone list of Greatest Singers circa 2008. Me give Devil soul in return." Oh no wait, I think this it: "I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (John Lennon eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!"

Anonymous said...

John Lennon was not for sale, and that's why he's loved till this day.

And anyway if that evil rumour were true he'd had to be forgotten by now. The deal was for 20 years, right?

I guess the devil and his writers are looking for idiots....

Anonymous said...

you gotta be nuts.......!!!