I’m Too Sexy 2007

Problem: Shitty song becomes incredibly popular, raising followup expectations that two retarded gym bunnies could never meet. Years and years and years go by and no one has paid even the slightest bit of attention to your six subsequent albums — even “Fredhead”! What to do?

Solution: Wait until the song makes its way so far down the pop-culture karma chain that it is used to sell laundry detergent (“I’m too sexy for my whites”). Time is right for a return! So quickly — you don’t know how long you’ll have to wait for the dog food commercial — cough up a few grand to remix it ever so slightly, slap a new date on that 16-year-old fluke, and shoot a new video that conveniently gives far more screen time to the hot 20-year-old dancing girls than the aging original artists.

Ladies and gentlemen, “I’m Too Sexy 2007.”

When I saw the following comment on the video’s YouTube page I thought it had to be fake:

WOW! This relaunch brings a new feel to the 1992 [sic] classic. The video explores the cinematic sinplicity [??] and stylistic ingenuity as viewed in other videos, such as Alex Gaudino’s “Destination Calabria” and CAbin Crew’s “Star 2 Fall”. FANTASTIC!

Then I checked the identity of the commenter, and it’s two Italian DJ’s named Paps’n’Skar who look like even bigger douchebags than our beloved Freddies:

And the beat goes on.

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Download “I’m Too Sexy 2007 (Tastemakers Radio Mix).”