Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Monsters chomping babes: The taglines


Jaws (1975): The terrifying motion picture from the terrifying No. 1 best seller.

Grizzly (1976): 18 feet of gut-wrenching, man-eating terror!

The Food of the Gods (1976): H.G. Wells predicted rocket ships and space travel in “THINGS TO COME” ... nuclear energy and the atom bomb in in “THE TIME MACHINE.” Now ... the master of science fiction, [sic] tells his most frightening story.

Tintorera (1977): There’s a monstrous killer churning up the sea.

The Jaws of Death (1977): Sheer terror! Filmed without the benefit of cages, mechanical sharks or other protective devices.

Empire of the Ants (1977): For they shall inherit the earth ... sooner than you think!

The Crater Lake Monster (1977): A beast more frightening than your most terrifying nightmare!

Tentacles (1977): Each year 10,000 tourists visit Ocean Beach. This summer Ocean Beach has attracted SOMETHING ELSE!

Orca (1977): Orca — the killer whale, is one of the most intelligent creatures in the universe. He hunts in packs, like a wolf. Incredibly, he is the only animal other than man who kills for revenge. ¶ He has one mate, and if she is harmed by man, he will hunt down that person with a relentless, terrible vengeance — across seas, across time, across all obstacles.

Jaws 2 (1978): Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water ...

The Bees (1978): They prey on HUMAN FLESH!

Piranha (1978): Lost River Lake was a thriving resort — until they discovered ...

Spawn of the Slithis (1978): Finally, nature releases it’s [sic] revenge! From the pollution of our nuclear waste, [sic] came the killer we couldn’t destroy!

PhotobucketKiller Fish (1979): They search for treasure. They search for flesh.

Big Alligator River (1979): No es animal, es un demonio!

Up From the Depths (1979): Your vacation is about to end!!!

Piranha 2: The Spawning (1981): The razor-jawed PIRANHA have arrived to feed ...

Monster (1980): From the ocean depths they strike ... to terrorise ... to mate ... and to kill!

Blood Beach (1981): The five people believed to have drowned here never even made it past the sand!

Crocodile (1981): From the slimy depths of the ocean ... nature explodes with savage fury!

The Loch Ness Horror (1981): It IS alive!

Great White (1981): A quiet, restful summer in the lazy coastal town of Port Harbor is abruptly about to end.

La Mort au Large (1981, a.k.a. Great White): Un été comme les autres ... un enfer pas ... comme les autres. (A summer like any other ... a hell like no other.)

Jaws 3-D (1983): The third dimension is terror.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987): This time it’s personal.

The Nest (1988): Roches have never tasted flesh ... until now.

Deep Blue Sea (1999): Bigger. Smarter. Faster. Meaner.

Lake Placid (1999): You’ll never know what bit you.

Crocodile (2000): From Tobe Hooper, the director of ‘Poltergeist’ and ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’!

Shark (2000, a.k.a. Shark Attack in the Mediterranean): Deep ocean terror at a new depth!

PhotobucketShark Attack 2 (2001): In the deep blue sea, there lives a dark secret.

Blue Demon (2004): Your deepest fears lie below the surface.

Frankenfish (2004): Terreur dans les Bayous. Also: Welcome to the bottom of the food chain.

Snakehead Terror (2004): They feed on your fear.

Mansquito (2005): First they hunted for a cure. Now they're hunting a monster.

Vampire Bats (2005): It’s feeding time.

Locusts (2005): If you can hear the buzz, it’s already too late. The swarm is the storm.

Swarmed (2005): Death is on the horizon.

Raging Sharks (2005): You can swim. But you can’t hide.

Black Water (2007): What’s down under?

Shark in Venice (2008): Welcome to the perfect tourist trap.

Shark Swarm (2008): Terror travels in packs.

Sea Beast (2008): It’s a feeding frenzy!

Hydra (2009): Prepare to be consumed.

Chihuanhas (2009?): They’re not just ankle biters anymore ...

1 comment:

rudylandsam said...

you'll never know what bit you is my favorite.